J-Fed's New Year's Resolutions

Via our own little birdie network, someone was able to locate a paper entitled "My New Year's Resolutions - by Jody Weis" from an office wastebasket. This is truly an insight into the J-Fed mindset and it's kind of creepy:

1. Buy a dog;
2. Try to lose Masters at least twice a day (this guy is like a pimple on my ass!);
3. Same for Ray Ray (two pimples!);
4. See how much more shit I can make my "command staff" eat (24 days off without pay and not a single resignation yet - next year I'll make it 30! - no balls!)
   
5. Attempt to grow a spine so I can stand on my own;
6. Tell that short fucker to get stuffed as soon as the last check clears;
7. Look up the word "insignificant" - I think I missed something there;
   
8. Always remember, a scapegoat is as good as a solution.

There seem to be spaces for even more resolutions. This may have been a first draft. Anyone have any idea what the rest of the resolutions might be? Chime in in our comment section - keep it semi-clean.