Give a Little Whistle

From the "It Could Be Worse" file:

• If you're getting robbed in Oak Park, police want you to put your lips on a whistle and blow.

  Police Chief Rick Tanksley is dusting off the actress Lauren Bacall approach to community policing in response to last year's alarming 46 percent spike in robberies.

  He wants to outfit folks with brass police whistles they can use to attract attention when they spot shadowy characters up to no good.

Wow. Just wow. Call 9-1-1 then blow a whistle. Why didn't Shortshanks think of this? He could have saved millions for his Olympic dreams instead of installing cameras and letting police manpower numbers dip to dangerous levels. The simplicity of it is just amazing!

There's a Keesing Bandit joke somewhere in that opening line.