J-Fed's Handler

Masters Masters Masters:

• A lean policy wonk with a Harvard Law degree and a master's in international relations from Cambridge at the cop house?
  

A Harvard law degree? A Cambridge masters degree? And he's stuck here in Chicago as a civilian in a police job? Must have been a truly lousy lawyer. How do you feel about this J-Fed?

• Mr. Weis says it was he who wanted Mr. Masters: "I can count on him for what I really need: honest feedback. And that's hard, historically, in a department where, whatever the superintendent says, it's done."

Hahahaha. Oh lord, you must have earned every cent of your over-inflated salary the day you said those phrases - did it hurt? Did you need a shower afterward? Did you gargle with battery acid? Oh, and this Department was always run by the First Deputy...until Cline got here. Just so you don't look like more of a completely out-of-touch boob next time.

Continuing on:

• A meticulous bureaucrat who was a teenage troubleshooter for former Alderman Bernie Hansen (44th)...

Teenage troubleshooter? Meticulous bureaucrat? Gee, what's not to love? He has "Machine hack" tattooed all over his body. Which makes him what, boys and girls?

• "He's sort of like the eyes and ears of the superintendent, even if he's with the superintendent," says Alderman Walter Burnett...
  

That makes him a spy. For Shortshanks. Is he still running around with a pistol?

"Earned, Not Given" our asses.

UPDATE: At the request of Crain's Chicago Business, we've removed the copyrighted photo of Masters (Masters Masters). We've also removed most of the full text of the linked article so as to fall into the realm of "fair use."