He Hid the Dope Where?

This actually made headlines in the Springfield State Journal-Register:

• A jail strip-search of a Springfield man Sunday night revealed two bags of crack cocaine concealed in his buttocks, police said.

  Frank S. Phillips, 20, of the 1500 block of Brenda Court could be charged with obstructing justice, drug dealing and possession of marijuana.

  At about 10:30 p.m., an officer saw an eastbound Oldsmobile Cutlass swerving in traffic on Cook Street near McCreery Street. The officer pulled the car over and saw the backseat passenger, allegedly Phillips, lift his lower body off the seat while his right shoulder lowered, as if to conceal something.

  The officer said the car’s interior smelled like burnt marijuana and that she knew Phillips was on parole. During a search, a marijuana cigar was found in his pants pocket. During a strip search at the Sangamon County Jail, correctional officers allegedly found two bags of crack cocaine concealed in his buttocks. Police said the cocaine weighed about 2.5 grams.

We've brought our one-or-two-bagger dope to the desk sergeant many times and he or she always had a pair of rubber gloves right there when they asked, "Is this ass-rock?" Maybe it was the weight that merited the headline?