Darwin Award Averted

Why do we have a sneaking suspicion alcohol may have been involved?

• A 27-year-old Joliet woman suffered second-degree burns after using a cigarette lighter to see how much gas was in the can she was filling.

  Police reports say it was about 10:30 p.m. Tuesday when the woman drove to the 7-Eleven at 1609 E. Cass St. in Joliet in a yellow 1970 Chevrolet.

  "(The woman) was filling up a gas can, which was sitting on the passenger seat of the car. (She) then used a lighter to use as a light to observe how full the can was," police said.

  The can ignited from the lighter's flame and the resulting explosion also set the vehicle's interior ablaze.

We recall the story of a south side citizen lying smoldering in an alley when police arrived. He was alive, barely. His momma told the officers he was trying to run an illegal hookup into the house from the utility pole because the electricity had been shut off for nonpayment of bills. Then she told the officers his brother had died the year before trying to do the exact same thing.

Quick! Tell your best near-Darwin story. Names should be removed to protect the idiotic.